


Goodbye // bokuaka

by anneil



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Feels, Bokuto and Akaashi don't get together, Bokuto has girlfriend, Gen, Pain, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:33:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27662083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anneil/pseuds/anneil
Summary: Akaashi is in unrequited love with Bokuto and seeing Bokuto with his girlfriend kills him a little more each day.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40





	Goodbye // bokuaka

Bokuto is dating this one girl and Akaashi, well Akaashi is dying a little more each day seeing it.

The worst is when Bokuto brings his girlfriend during practice and they are cringely lovey-dovey. 

Akaashi feels like something has stabbed his heart million times when Bokuto grabs her waist and pulls her closer to kiss her lips. 

Those are the moments that make Akaashi think "I wish I was her". It's the feeling that envelopes him with envy and pain so Akaashi starts thinking, wish I was pretty like her, wish I had that slender body of hers, wish I had her long hair. 

But Akaashi is not her. He will never have Bokuto's lips on him nor he will ever feel the warmth of his body. They were friends and that was it.

The fact they were friends hurt a lot too. One because they will never be more than that and second, because Bokuto thought of Akaashi as his friend he always talks to him about his cute girlfriend and asks him for advice. With all of the pain, Akaashi had to smile and listen to Bokuto's love life.

Bokuto brought her to practice today as well. Walking hands in hands, Bokuto in his uniform and she in her floral dress. They looked so good together. Like a match made from heaven.

"Do your best, Bokuto-kun" she smiled at him and Bokuto smiled back and sent her a kiss

"Akgaaaashi" then he went to Akaashi

"What" Akaashi's tone was cold

The coldness from Akaashi made Bokuto stop and wonder what's wrong with Akaashi. Only if he knew. But he doesn't and that's the problem. No, even if he does, Bokuto is straight. So Akaashi will be hurt either way.

"Sorry, nothing" Bokuto backed out

Seeing the sad face Bokuto made, Akaashi regretted being cold to him.

But the pain Bokuto caused Akaashi hurt much more and was way bigger. And Bokuto wasn't even aware of the pain he was causing Akaashi.

On the break, Akaashi couldn't stand Bokuto and his girlfriend's cringey attitude. She was feeding Bokuto the bentou she made him. And Akaashi lost all of his appetite, didn't feel like eating anymore. So instead he went outside to get some fresh air and calm down the storm in his heart.

Bokuto went after him. 

"Akaashi. Are you okay?" 

"I'm fine, sorry for before" Akaashi smiled a bit

"Have I done something?" Bokuto questioned 

"No, nothing" 

"Something's been troubling you lately, what is it?" 

How not to feel anything for this human being? Akaashi thought. He's so caring and kind. It made everything worse than it already was. 

"It's nothing I swear" Akaashi raised his hand and patted Bokuto's head

* Later that night *

Akaashi was on his phone while lying down on his bed when someone bursted into his room and that someone was Bokuto with messy hair and troubled face.

"Bokuto?" Akaashi was surprised that Bokuto came without calling before

"Why are women so complicated" Bokuto sighed as he was sitting down on the floor

And Akaashi knew what was the problem, Bokuto must have had a fight with his girlfriend again.

"First she says 'don't be jealous like a kid' and then she goes 'why aren't you jealous?'. Like girl, make your choice.

Akaashi was just sitting and listening while his heart was breaking but he didn't show it.

"She's so cute though, I can't stay get mad at her" Bokuto's frustrated expression turned into warm one

Yes, Bokuto was caring and kind to Akaashi but it was different a different type of care and kindness when it came to his girlfriend. Same emotions but slightly different. It wasn't of the same type.

"Bokuto, can you leave? I'm a little busy, I don't have the time to listen your love life" Akaashi couldn't anymore, it was over the limit

"Sorry, I'll be going" Bokuto felt sorry for annoying Akaashi so he got up to leave

Akaashi fell down onto his bed and left out a big sigh. He didn't want to behave like this but his shattered heart was too unsteady and it took over his nice side. It wasn't like Akaashi could control it anyway.

Sometimes Akaashi was like, 'tell him, get it off your chest, save yourself from the pain'. But then again he was scared, scared of rejection and what wil come after the rejection. Will it be the same after? 

Akaashi felt like crying. He got under the covers and tried to stay strong but a tear after tear fell down his cheeks. He gulped a lot of times thinking the stinging pain in his throat will disappear but it was useless. It was like a stone stuck in his throat suffocating him. 

"Akaashi..." 

Akaashi felt a hand softly touching his shoulder. Turning around he saw Bokuto in front of him with a worried look on his face. 

Akaashi gasped, he was taken aback so he panicked. His brain was in chaos. What now? 

"B-Bokuto-san?" 

"What it is Akaashi? Tell me." Bokuto said with a low tone while wiping off Akaashi's tears

Akaashi wasn't sure what exactly happened at that moment but he started crying really badly. He didn't want to, he truly didn't but the tears kept falling themselves and he couldn't prevent it. 

Seeing Akaashi cry like that made Bokuto really worried, someone like Akaashi was now crying like this and Bokuto felt like the whole world was crashing. It was very painful for Bokuto to watch Akaashi cry. 

Bokuto opened his arms and enveloped Akaashi into a tight hug. Akaashi rested his head on Bokuto's shoulder and was holding tightly onto Bokuto's shirt. Still crying. 

"Akaashi.. Don't cry please" Bokuto told Akaashi while rubbing his back

"I'm... I'm really sorry... I don't know why am I like this either..." 

"On the other hand, cry, let everything that was bottled inside of you go" Bokuto held Akaashi tightly 

* Akaashi's thoughts:

"This is the last time, I promise, I'll ever cry because of you. 

This is the last time I will be in love with you 

This is the last time I'll be held in your arms

This is the last time I'll feel your warmth 

This is the last time my heart will ache cause of you

After this my pain will dissappear 

After this my heart won't beat for you anymore, I promise 

After this, I won't search for you in the big crowd 

After this, your smile won't matter to me more than mine 

After this I'll fall out of love with you 

After this I'll be saying goodbye 

Goodbye to all my dreams about us being together 

Goodbye to my feelings for you 

Goodbye to my love for you 

Goodbye to our love that ended before it even started.

Goodbye, my love that never had a chance. 

Goodbye.


End file.
